Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
