I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
