Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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