I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
