I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
