why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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