I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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