the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
