Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
