i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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