how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize