Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
