I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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