tell your sister to shave her snatch
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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