He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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