Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
