Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
me + whiskey = a bad person
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize