are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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