so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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