so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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