she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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