I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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