So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize