So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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