...so i touched it.
I think my vagina is haunted
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
