tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize