Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
