god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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