My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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