State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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