some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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