don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
