You work out of a Hotel?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
