He disabled his match.com account in front of me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
only you would photoshop your dick
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
