Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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