even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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