Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize