my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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