I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
