he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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