dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
