Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize