I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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