Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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