I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
