did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
