just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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