i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
