Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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