I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The air was thick with penises
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
