Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
