Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you had me at cake vodka
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Randomize
