i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
