made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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