Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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