OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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