My brain says no but my pants say off.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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