dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
