I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
