He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
