There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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