So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
